After dialing a number of automated service systems that drive you nuts, I hate to see 911 automated and end up with a list of similar stupid questions that might follow like the list of questions below.
Hello you have reached the emergency response system, if you have an emergency press 1, if this is not an emergency press 2, for all other problems press 3.
You have pressed 1, if this is correct press 1, if this is not correct press 2, otherwise press 9.
OK, you have pressed 1 and this is an emergency. Letís determine what type of emergency you have. If you are still alive press 1, if you are dead press 2, otherwise press 8.
OK, you have pressed 1 and are alive. If you are in need of help press 1, if a family member need help press 2, if a stranger needs help press 3, otherwise press 7.
OK, you have pressed 2 and a member of you family needs help. If this is correct press 1, Otherwise press 6.
OK, who is the family member that requires help? If you are single press 1, if you are married press 2, otherwise press 5.
You pressed 2 and are married, if this is correct press 1, otherwise press 4.
OK, letís determine which member of your family needs help. If it is your mother-in-law press #, if it is your father-in-law press *, if it is your wife press 1, if it is a child press 2, for all other members press 3, otherwise press 4.
OK, you have pressed 2 and your child needs help. If this is correct press 1,Otherwise press 3.
Sorry, we did not recognize which selection you made. Please press 1 to start the process over again or press 2 to reach an operator!